"We love a comeback. There is something deep and true inside us that wakes up when we come into the presence of a person who is making a comeback. But something strange happens when we are the ones in need of the comeback. Something peculiar happens when we are the ones who have fallen and broken relationships and failed in our opportunities.
We start to believe that God does not love comebacks.
We start to believe that when He sees us wallowing in our mistakes, when He looks down at our sin and grossness and wretched failure, that He wants to turn His back. We start to believe that we’ve got to fix ourselves first. We’ve got to distance ourselves from Him so that we can get our lives in order before we get close to him again. We start to believe He is not rooting for our comeback.
I think that is wrong.
I think that is a lie.
I think God is an even bigger fan of comebacks than we are.
I think God loves the comeback."
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I cried!! Sitting at my desk at work, I felt relieved, and a little silly, because I should've known that. It is easy to forget, especially when you're surrounded by people and things that remind you of all the negative things in your life. I have an addictive personality. I know that I have the tendency to get addicted to anything. You name it, its possible. Cigarettes, drugs, attention, prescription pills, food, working out, anything. I tend to take everything and obsess on it. Including my failures. My faults. My sins. My flaws flash like neon signs, making everyone (or maybe just me) focus on all of those things. There are plenty. I have blatantly ignored God. I have known that at times He has spoken to me and I chose to ignore Him. I know I'm not the only one, but it makes me ashamed. And then that shame leads to guilt, and then fear, fear of being rejected if I do go back. But then, I read things in the Bible and things like Jon's blog, and am reminded of who God really is, and have hope. I am broken, and unhappy, and there are a lot of things in my life that need to change. My relationship with my God will be slow and steady, but I believe He is here for me. I believe He knew right when I would decide to come back. I got into a discussion about the existence of God, why I believe He existed, the way he has worked in my life, and made a couple people really consider what I was saying. I even admitted I hadn't been a practicing Christian for several years. That didn't mean I wasn't still a believer, and it didn't mean that God loved me any less. In that discussion I was not speaking. God was speaking through me. He used me as an instrument to speak to those people. The only reason I think that is because I didn't get defensive or angry like I usually do when people attack my belief in God. It was a calm, logical discussion. I just realized that just now, writing this. Maybe there is hope for me after all...
