Expectations

First night back in the Command Center and the truth comes out. People have been complaining for weeks about me working from home. I have come to realize more and more that this place I call a job is more like high school than I could ever have dreamed. I'd love to offer anyone the trade-off...you take my headaches and work from home, and I'll be headache free and work from the office. Done and done. I don't appreciate being lied to, cursed at or spoken about behind my back, etc. All of those things have happened to me in the past 2 and a half days of work. I graduated high school in 2003 and thought that I left it there. Apparently not.

There has to be something more than this. More than dreading every night I have to clock in at work. More than trudging through, unappreciated and unchallenged. Jon Acuff made a point about the desert road, how God takes us the long way around sometimes, how sometimes we have to have a few crappy jobs so that we can appreciate the good one. I'm ready for the good one. Struggling through some crappy relationships to help us become who we need to be when we meet the right one. I think I'm there. The difference between my thoughts and God's is that I'm on my schedule and God is always on his. Sometimes his idea of time and mine do not coincide. Sometimes he takes way too long, and sometimes he shocks the crap out of me with how quickly things happen. Being back here in this environment only shows me more how quickly I want to be out of it. Into anything else. ANYTHING that will allow me to continue living on my own. Everyone tells me to be grateful that I have a job, and yes, I am grateful that I'm employed. However I don't appreciate the way I've been treated lately, and in any other job I've had, this kind of behavior would not be tolerated. I am not posting this on my public blog because people will just chide me for whining, and, I'm trying to use wordpress more for expanding my blog knowledge and this is more private...so sorry to those of you who continue to read here. If you want more insightful blog posts, go to http://rebeccamh.wordpress.com.

EDIT: I have applied for 8 jobs in Omaha, still with First Data but out of the command center. Fingers crossed.