Where did my life go? Its like the past 6 years happened in 6 months. I don't want to be here. I don't want to be stuck in a cube farm at a company looking out the window and daydreaming about how smart I used to be and all the things I'd like to learn. Which is what I was doing moments before I started writing this. Now, instead of doing something about it, I'm writing - its a halfway step I'm hoping. I have the opportunity to move to Denver. I am strongly considering taking it. I have some things to pay off here, but I'm thinking within the next 6 months, if I focus and save, I'll be able to pay those things off and have money saved to move. It's time for me to do something for me. Not for Dan, not for my family, not for anyone but myself. I've spent my whole life compromising what I want and what I dream to please my family. In the long run I think they'll be happier if I do what I want to, even if it doesn't initially coincide with what they want for me. I'm not 12 anymore. Its scary, and some days I wish I was 12, so Mom and Dad could take care of me and my biggest worry would be getting my vocabulary homework done. However, wasting time dreaming of the past is something I am unwilling to do anymore. It's time to move forward. And moving forward means doing something differently. I don't know if this is what God wants for me. Our relationship is estranged, and I know that is entirely my fault. I don't know, in a week I may say, I'm staying here. But right now, my plan is to save, maybe even get a second job, pay off my debts and move.